the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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