I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
