I CAN MOONWALK!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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