I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
