im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
