Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
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