guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize