Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
