i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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