When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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