Grow some girl-balls and come out already
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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