I think my fart just growled at me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
