Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
