Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
