I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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