thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
