we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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