Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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