brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My life is pants optional.
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