I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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