Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
