I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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