what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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