VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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