and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
