his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
do herpes really smell.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
