sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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