I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
