What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
