did you get engaged???
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
