When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
