i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
