Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
