Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
