she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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