where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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