u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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