It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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