Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
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