I want to make a zoo with you.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
