Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize