Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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