Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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