You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
