Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
