Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
