i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We had to coat check the pizza.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
