Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
