now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
