If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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