In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
