Your dad touched me again.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
