I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
