come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
