her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
