how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
