I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
