A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
