Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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